Saturday depression

i am depressed and lonely today just as i am most days. bruce is working and liz is out of town in missouri with her boyfriend visiting his parents. she is supposed to be back tomorrow but will be staying at her boyfriends house in davenport until monday. I just dont know what to do with myself most days. The silence and lonliness just screams at me and I want to scream back. I want to cry all the time from lonliness and the feeling of uselessness. This is not self pity. It is something much deeper, from deep down in my soul, my spirit. I need to be needed, to be wanted to be loved and appreciated. Appreciated for what…I don’t know. Do I have a purpose in life, a mission, a God given reason to get up in the morning? Just doesn’t seem like it. I keep searching but I’m getting tired from searching and not finding any answers. How do you give up? My kids don’t need me anymore. bruce has never needed me. I need them or someone to love and need me. I don’t know how to live without being needed. I don’t know how to love or be loved without being needed.

Advertisements

About storeladymama

Mother of 3, Grandmother of 5, Wife, Small business owner for the past 14 years, Christian, love dogs, reading, socializing, etc.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s